TV WRITING ADVICE

For those of us who have fantasized or seriously thought about pursuing a career in writing for television, there are a lot of books on the subject. Many of these are not whole books but chapters in books; with cover titles like, "How to Get into Movies and Television".

There is a book that I just finished reading last evening. I read it in just two days -- which is good considering I never have enough time for this hobby of mine -- as it was quite the page turner: A Friend in the Business - Honest Advice for Anyone Trying to Break in to Television Writing.

The author, Robert Masello, is a fairly successful writer and script editor for various television series.

Needless to say, he has the inside scoop.

What makes the read even more enjoyable is the fact that, before he moved to Los Angeles and took a stab at writing for the tube, Masello had a successful career in New York City as a regular writer and contributor to various publications such as the Washington Post, New York magazine, Elle, Cosmopolitan; in addition to writing a few novels. So his skills as a storyteller were entrenched.

And as the author says in this book, many writers of your favourite television programs are not that talented. Masello is right, I'm sure, and they probably could not write a book as interesting, funny, and thorough as A Friend in the Business.

Masello goes over just about all the experiences -- some are bizarre, to put it mildly -- that you would suffer if you became a seller of stories or scripts to tv, or were to be lucky enough to score big by being hired as staff on a regular series.

One thing I found appealing about his writing is that Masello doesn't ignore or bury the reason why writing for television can be so much fun... the money. He opens up the book by talking of the almost criminal amounts of money that he and his peers make for doing something that is more or less fun; you are after all a writer, and you are being paid good coin to do your thing. (He talks about the inequity in the writing trade, as in what the television brand get remunerated compared to those who contribute magazine articles or journalistic pieces for newspapers.)

The author does change the names of people and also titles of television series that he was a staff member on... you can see why. If you were on the inside and you wanted to tell the truth to the dreamers and practical types the real story, you would have to talk openly of those experiences. Good and bad:

People in the biz, even fellow writers who have made a dent, are helpful, or at least appear to be helpful, when you are starting out. Breaking through the clubhouse walls is difficult, but it can be done. And the WGA (Writers' Guild of America) is an outstanding union, in Masello's humble opinion.

It is positively creepy just how creepy some people can be in that business. Oh, really?!

Agents are known for not doing their jobs.

And, what, a lot of these television writers are not particularly outstanding? Ya, think?

Robert Masello's point is, there are some positive reasons for you to give it a shot if you really want to write for the form -- the rewards are wonderful; it is a hard battle, and should be in his opinion, or something isn't right, but you have a good a chance as any...

"Provided, of course, that you do have one thing, and that is... a modicum of talent." ("A modicum will do.")

Talk about, or, read about, demystification!

TV PARTY

Greg Woods lent me a copy of the documentary, TV Party (about the old television series, TV Party). I was unable to attend his ESR screening last Thursday night but wanted to see this film.

TV Party was a cable access show done out of New York City back in the late 'seventies. It ran from 1978 to, or rather, petered out in, 1982. Hosted by one Glenn O'Brien, the cable show snagged and featured some top alternative musical acts -- not hard to do when you are planted in NYC -- in addition to a lot of late night oddities.

One such oddity, as outlined in the documentary, was the 'call-in' part of any given episode. This has to be seen and heard; although anyone who has been around knows the nature of such a tradition, that is, profane callers, would not be surprised or put off by it. What does impress is the way the hosts roll with the comments, some of which are quite pointed.

While the effort was noble and genuine, I found this documentary to be more a rag tag or rough assembly of TV Party's ingredients as opposed to a nicely constructed overview and look back at what, for the time and place, was a groundbreaking television program.

There is treatment on Party's innovation, but it is perhaps the only strong and cohesive theme throughout this film.

"It is your television" is the type of call sign for any cable or community television channel and the fact is, by law, you are allowed to have access to it in order to do your own thing or speak your own voice. This provided for some experimental television; television not bound by ratings or often restrictive standards inherent in more commercial stations or networks.

Of course, those of us who worked in community television -- Disco 8 on Cable 8, anyone? -- can tell you it is never an open slate but the opportunities are there to pitch something to the controllers, nonetheless.

My big question throughout the doc was, where was the studio? The filmmakers give you absolutely no idea of the geography -- where the studio was. There is talk about certain folk hanging out on the street when the cast and crew would leave the studio but you, as a viewer, don't know where they even were; other than "the Lower East Side". (Also mentioned in the doc by one person connected with TV Party is how NYC was a different place back then; "pre-Giuliani" is how they put it.)

A simple map would have been nice; it doesn't have to be a Baedeker guide, just something.

By all means check the documentary out... it is worth seeing if you have any interest in the form of late night television. And it is good in the sense that it is about TV Party: I saw one episode of the actual show a few months ago -- again, supplied by the wonderful Greg Woods -- and it is crude in technique, rough around the edges (there are time-base problems whenever there is a camera switch), a little like water running down a hill, but always interesting and fun -- even out of its historical context.

Those of you who are into the late '70s/early '80s New York City music scene, will love it. The documentary spends a good chunk of time on the various acts, including interviews with some. (Overseas musical groups also paid a visit to the show when they were in town.)

What the documentary and the TV Party show itself make you realize is that a guy like David Letterman did not invent everything: 'Chuck the Security Guard', of the All Night Show, a live program produced here in Toronto by CFMT back in 1980-81, did a few things that Dave made famous a few years later.

It is often the underground gang who break the ground first, then dig around... and the big earth movers come in later and take all the glory.


The TV Party website is: http://tvparty.org/

JOHN SAXON

It's funny what happens when you surf the net even for just a few minutes.

Quite possibly the coolest -- absolute coolest -- man in showbiz, to me, would be actor John Saxon. While I was growing up, meaning watching a lot of television, this man was almost everywhere on the dial. His unique look imprinted into any kid's tv-sucking brain. And the name was easy to remember... I guess I reviewed program and movie credits way back then.

Leslie Nielsen was another face and name who was known to any tv junkie like me. (Of course, I was thrown for a loop when Airplane was released.)

John Saxon probably wasn't on the tube as much as I would think, even though he was always employed, it was more of a case that he was consistently so memorable; whether he was cast as a villain of the week on a regular series, or as a "good guy" in a film such as Curtis Harrington's classic sci-fi feature, Queen of Blood.

And he was great in Enter the Dragon.

There is no need to go into a credit roll here other than to say that he popped up in The Six Million Dollar Man a couple of times (one of my favourite shows in my youth) and an awful lot of shows I would have just caught a few minutes of. "Hey, it's John Saxon."

Younger folk might know him also as he had parts in a couple of the Nightmare on Elm Street movies.

I never have been one to watch something just because so-and-so is in it. There are exceptions, however: Cary Grant, Robert Mitchum, and John Saxon.

PARKING LOT MEMORIES

I admit freely that I mock Toronto film critics. Considering that T.O. is regarded as one of the big movie release cities, there seems to be a lack of good film criticism emanating from within. (I have a tendency to group these people in with 'Toronto entertainment writers'. It's not nice to do, I know.)

There are exceptions, in my opinion: Toronto Star writer, Geoff Pevere, who I often disagree with, at least from film to film, knows his vegetables and can produce some insightful and tempered scribing.

Unfortunately, all too rare in this town.

I was pleasantly surprised early this morning when I read this comment from Mr. Peter Howell, also of the Toronto Star, concerning the new Directors DVD set on Stanley Kubrick...

"He challenged all comers with his movies, refusing to make his alienated characters likeable or even understandable, and eschewing simple narratives. He would hold a scene for interminable lengths if it suited his purpose. His films sometimes seemed to end almost at whim. He wanted us to think long past the parking lot, and he didn't care if we liked him."

There is nothing outstanding in the articulation... more a case of Mr. Howell nailing Stanley Kubrick as director and filmmaker.

With so many Toronto entertainment writers dispensing elucidations such as "cheesy", or, "it's so good it's awesome!", it is refreshing to read something displaying an actual thought process.

And why is it that so many movies don't stay with you past the theatre's parking lot (even if you take public transit instead)?

NEW MYSTERIOUS CD

I have been on a film-music CD company's e-mail list ever since I bought a score from them last year... they are Screen Archives Entertainment. Most of the news items (new releases) sent to me in the months since that fateful purchase I don't have much use for; as I have said before, I would much rather experience a film score with the movie it was designed to be with as opposed to listening to a bunch of music tracks as separate elements. I have also said before that there are exceptions -- Bernard Herrmann's score for the 1961 Cy Enfield directed film fantasy, Mysterious Island, is one of them.

Back in high school I bought a Bernard Herrmann LP. It was one of those terrific sounding 'Phase 4' records. The album consisted of recordings done by the composer himself in 1975, for the company London Records, of musical suites from various pictures he scored, including, Psycho, Jason and the Argonauts, The Devil and Daniel Webster, and Mysterious Island...

The suite from Mysterious Island is absolutely thrilling to listen to, particularly the 'Balloon' music. A few years ago, I bought the CD version of the album... this is odd as I have not been into doubling-up, as it were. Admittedly, I would always rather put the vinyl version on as the sonics are far superior. This is really noticeable during the cacophonous brass passages in the Balloon track.

One criticism levelled a this recording is that Herrmann, himself, slowed the tempos right down. Purists wish that the composer didn't feel he had to 'concertize' the recordings -- which is a natural inclination when one is not a slave to the visual beats: Let the music breathe and flow on its own, is the feeling here.

I, for one, will accept these moves by the genius film composer, Bernard Herrmann.

It is nice to know that Mr. Stromberg and company recorded a complete rendition of the full Herrmann classic score (as he did with the original King Kong score a few years ago), but all that this news accomplishes to do is convince me it is time to find my London Records version (LP or CD) and be thrilled again.

UNLOADING THE VHS (Part 1)

I was going to take the day off and clean the ol' office. I then noticed a pile of VHS (pre-record) tapes sitting on the floor beside my computer desk. The question I had to ask myself is whether I want to clean around the VHS tapes, which would be the typical male thing to do, or, write about the tapes, pick them up, then clean. After deliberation over five cups of strong coffee, I decided on the latter course.

The pile in question consists of tapes that I transferred to DVD-R at my place of employment. (I patched the signal through our time-base-corrector, or TBC, which makes for an improved image; instead of going into a technical mini-essay here, I will write about the TBC issue in a future blog entry.) Needless to say, a bit of space has been freed up. Except these VHS tapes are now on my floor. And there are still more to do. Someday.

You might ask why I have not gotten rid of them now that they each have a nice space-saving DVD-R copy. My answer would be that I like the pretty little boxes the tapes came in. The variety of artwork is interesting and the only connection to my original purchase -- the uttery souless DVD disk inside a clinical jewel case just don't cut it. The real reason is -- besides, I can always take a picture of the boxes -- I want to make sure they go to a good cause.

There is a terrific bookstore in here in Toronto that deals in new and used books, tapes, discs, etc. (They are BMV Books, 471 Bloor Street West.) I spoke with the manager and he said that they prefer rare stuff. I said, "some of the tapes are not too common".

Suspect Video, Toronto's premiere video store, in my humble opinion, has accepted tapes from me in the past but last time I went in to donate, they gave me the impression they are being more selective as to what they accept. So they are getting picky, are they? I will have to have a nice little talk with owner Luis.

I could always 'lawn sale' the tapes.

My friend, Greg, might want to rummage through them first.

Options there are.


My quest to find a new home for these Video Home System tapes will continue in "Unloading the VHS (Part 2)"

ESR SCREENING ROOM

I could not make the Eclectic Screening Room screening last evening. Something came up so I was not able to attend. Now that is a problem as proprietor Greg Woods screens a lot of fun, obscure, sort of obscure, not easy to find, but always interesting films (on video projection). He is also a bit of a showman: During the outstanding 'Beatnik Night at the Movies' -- which was the program back on March 29th and featured such fare as the very obscure Canadian feature film, The Bloody Brood (1959), starring one Peter Falk, along with a grand mix of short segments, including an episode of the old television detective show, Johnny Staccato, staffed by some cat called John Cassavetes -- Greg dressed up in applicable attire... that of one cool cat! Finger snapping was the soundtrack of the night. Greg would start and the audience would join in. It was a lot of fun.

You had to be there. Really! And you have to go there. You'll meet some pretty cool customers. Yah!


Eclectic Screening Room
Centre for the Arts, 263 Adelaide St. W., Ste. 513
Toronto, Ontario, Canada

For screening dates and other details, check out: http://screening-room.ca/

THE HOUR NOT

I support the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation, if not with cash (I do through my taxes) then in spirit and tuning in. As a matter of fact when I look through the weekly Globe and Mail television listings, I scan across those boxes to see what is on the CBC and TVOntario, only, really. Our broadcaster, "The Mother Corp", really does try to do its job, even if it does lack leadership. It's a bitch...

How do you try and make everyone happy -- "I don't want my tax dollars going to a station I never watch!"... well, I feel sorry for you, Sir -- and fulfill a public role of tying all Canadians together from coast to coast -- "with technology today, I don't see how this is relevant anymore; that's the same argument I hear about the NFB"... you may have a point, Mame, but it doesn't necessarily make it so -- and forever have to fight the argument that you have to start making more drama and shows like them Americans make; you know the kind, those tv programs that people actually want to see -- "I like shows like The Fifth Estate, but I would rather watch my programs after I come home after a long day at work; shows like CSI "... sorry to hear that you feel you have to pop on the television so automatically, and drama is expensive to make -- and convince yourself that you are not, perhaps, losing an unwinnable war?

Which brings me to The Hour: I'm sure George Stroumboulopoulos is a nice enough guy, and I'm sure he WAS great as a popular (television) music journalist, but he is clearly not capable of carrying a coast to coast late night show. The man tries too hard to be funny (he's not a natural), hip (not necessary), and intelligent (I don't know the guy so I won't judge on the surface, but he seems to try so). He tends to fail on all counts. These guys are rare: Tom Snyder, Elwy Yost, Brian Linehan, Morton Shulman, Johnny Carson, Patrick Watson, and so on.

I do realize I'm comparing George to the best, but, as a producer, you must try and find and nurture the next versions of the above, and you have to know when to cut your losses, too. (Such a program can be nebulous... after all, Johnny Carson wasn't the from-square-one guy of The Tonight Show; he replaced a guy named Jack Paar.)

The guests on The Hour are, consistently, of interest. Basing the show here in Toronto provides for easy access to varied personalities; those residing, temporarily working, or just passing through the big smoke.

But you need some serious hardware in the Captain's seat.

And I understand that the ratings for The Hour are in the basement.

Yes, the competition is fierce in that time slot.

STAR WARS TV SERIES

Was up at 6 a.m.; fired up the computer; went on the internet; and there was the news for all Star Wars fans who can't get enough... well, can't get enough visual material, that is. The headline blared something about George Lucas announcing yesterday (Tuesday) that he has started working on a Star Wars television series.

The time is right. A warehouse load of props, costumes, sets and set pieces, only helps realize the Star Wars universe for television and its conservative budgets. Also, the technology has advanced – partly due to the work of Mr. Lucas himself – where anything your heart desires can be imagined on the small screen. Visual effects for tv can be done for pittance compared to the old days where series' would have to do film-style effects or opticals, and at great expense. And now you can do a veritable Christmas morning grab bag as far as quantity goes – you're not limited to just a few token shots to get the idea across. A producer can go crazy! That is not a good thing, necessarily.

And George Lucas has shown with his so-called prequel films that he is more than able and willing to get carried away.

When Lucas says that he's starting to plan a SW tv series, does the creator mean he's writing a script – which I shiver at the mere thought of – or has he already hired people to start working on the visual effects?

Scary food for thought. (Burgers and fries... and pop.)

THE IMPLANT PEOPLE

I wrote a couple of blog entries a few weeks ago entitled "The Lost Starlost", and "The Last Starlost". My dear friend, Mark, suggested out of the blue that I write something on the old Canadian-produced television science fiction series, The Starlost. Mark's request was not rehearsed and he caught me off guard. I was writing about the show solely from memory.

Two days ago I rented a couple of episodes of The Starlost. These are in fact not individual episodes but tv movies that were compiled back in the early 1980s in order to release something of the series to television; as it was very short lived at 16 episodes in total. (Two episodes were stuck together, with no rhyme or reason, to make a movie. This was done for ten episodes; leaving six orphans.)

Watching this disc allowed me to revisit the doomed Earthship Ark, not to forget the doomed series... and some would argue, doomed from the start. I'm coming clean here when I say this: I watched the episodes last night and didn't think they were too bad. One of these episodes, "The Implant People", became part of the geek lexicon back in the '70s; a running gag with a couple of friends. We would joke about having a half sphere stuck to our temples so that someone could control us (or something silly like that). Veteran Canadian actor, Donnelly Rhodes (pictured above with Robin Ward), was quite good in playing his role and did so with enough of a creep-factor that we sympathized even more with his 'subjects'. The production design was interesting; especially considering the always tight television budget.

In order to save a lot of money, in addition to facilitating the ability to do a lot of superimpositions, or mattes, the series was shot on videotape. Unfortunately, this also works against it as there is that 'tv news' look. (I have always thought that video makes everything look like plastic.) Film would have been nice but, then again, Doctor Who was done on tape... it becomes part of the look, and perhaps part of the nostalgia.

All in all, an earnest attempt to do a television science fiction series with some brains, and up here in Toronto, Canada.

It is always fun going back and seeing something we remember from our childhoods. Some are good; most are bad. I'd have to see more The Starlost to judge more accurately, if it is really that important.

The Hour with George Stroumboulopoulos is on tonight, you say? That's okay, I'll be watching something else.

... anything else!