Wednesday, November 23, 2011


In regards to my posting immediately below (CANADIAN TIRE STORE FLYER), I decided to put up the goods on the Ice Hockey Puck...

In the above article there is a bit on "Underwater Hockey", and the model of puck that sport utilizes.  I amused myself with the memory of a team I played for one year, where I was the goalie (goal-keeper).  As I watched my "forwards" skate about, I thought they were playing so slowly they might as well have been playing underwater.

Then the opposing team got a "three man breakaway"; on me, of course.  (They screwed it up!  And because of that I easily stopped the puck.  Ah, yes... I have lots of great memories playing ice hockey.)


Came home today, checked my mailbox for mail, and pulled out the junk-mail -- some jerk tore off the "No Junk Mail, Please" sticker I had stuck on the box. (I've been too lazy to replace the label.  Hey, it takes a lot of effort to pull out a marker pen, a piece of paper...)

Included within the pile of paper junk was a flyer for Canadian Tire (a big retail chain here in Canada, with an emphasis on automotive stuff, and hardware; but they sell just about everything, it seems).  While I sat down and enjoyed my 'come-down coffee' I leafed through the mini-magazine, enjoying the ads for things I cannot afford -- even though a lot of items appear to me to be very reasonably priced.  One such advert caught my attention: "Replica hockey pucks."  Oh, as opposed to "non-replica hockey pucks"?  Look, it's a hockey puck or it's not a hockey puck.  After that blip, I notice the puck ad is in a little, bottom-of-the-page section titled, "Complete Your Game With The Right Accessories".  What?  A hockey puck is hardly an "accessory".  I've played ice hockey, I know.  A "toque" is an accessory!  A puck is not!

That ice hockey "accessory" hit me in the face once.  I needed stitches.  Then I became a man.

(What Woody Allen film has the line, "I need a Valium the size of a hockey puck!"?  It's a very funny line, delivered by the man himself.)

Friday, November 18, 2011


Songs from our childhood snap us back whenever we hear the tunes as an adult, or even think about them.

Something, I do not know what, got me thinking of the 1969 hit song "Two Little Boys".  I decided to do something about it...

... I had not realized the song was that old.  Two Little Boys was written in 1902 by Americans Theodore Morse (music) and Edward Madden (lyrics), and originally achieved popularity with Scottish entertainer Harry Lauder.  The version I know was covered by Rolf Harris, and it became a No. 1 hit in the U.K.

This I did not know, simply because I had forgotten a particular lyric:  The song tells the story of two boys who grow up to fight in the American Civil War.

Next it was a matter of finding out the exact lyrics.  And here they are...

Two little boys had two little toys 
Each had a wooden horse 
Gaily they played each summer day 
Warriors both of course.

One little chap had a mishap 
Broke off his horse's head 
Wept for his toy and cried out the joy 
As his young playmate said.

Do you think I would leave you crying 
When there's room on my horse for two 
Climb up Jack and we'll soon be riding 
I can go just as fast with two.

When we grow up we'll be soldiers 
And our horses will not be toys 
and I wonder we'll remember 
When we were two little boys.

Long years has passed, war came so fast 
one fought the blue the other gray 
Cannons roared loud and in the mad crowd 
wounded and dying there.

Out comes a shot, a horse dashes out 
Out from the ranks so blue 
and it gallops away to where Joe lay 
then came the voice he knew.

Did you think I could leave you dying 
When there's room on my horse for two 
Climb up Joe, we'll soon be flying 
I can go just as fast with two.

Do you say, Joe, I'm a-tremble 
well perhaps is the battle noise 
but I think it's that I remember 
When we were two little boys.


When I was a kid, I had two "Major Matt Mason" articulated dolls... actually, the other one was Sgt. Storm, I think (as he had a red spacesuit... Matt's was white).

News came out a while ago -- and I forgot to post when I saw it -- that actor Tom Hanks has been planning to make a big-screen version of the famous spaceman.  (Well, famous when I was a kid.  Don't know what it would mean at the box-office.)

A look at Major Matt Mason...


I found out a few weeks ago that David Fincher is planning a new version of Jules Verne's 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea.  Great!... I thought; until I found out that he will be lensing it in 3-D.  No.  Please, no.  My fear is it will not be exhibited at all in 2-D.  That is the bigger issue.

Back in 1997, there were two competing made-for-tv Leagues projects shown within months of each other.  They were both pretty weak.  Ben Cross played Nemo in one of them.  The other telefilm's Nemo was in the form of Michael Caine.  I actually preferred the former production, overall.

Note:  Got a kick out of a bit in article I read; went like this...
"(3-D) will bring Jules Verne's classic novel to life."

... What?  I think the fact that it's a great story should be able to, we hope, handle the "to life" all on its own.  (The average 'entertainment writer' is pathetic. Yep, "3-D" will give Verne's story much needed zip.)

Overview of Jules Verne's novel, Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea...

Wednesday, November 16, 2011


Just realized today that I no longer check out the Toronto Sun as part of my newspaper reading in the morning.  It's been a few weeks since I last saw the Anger Pages.

Even this self-proclaimed media watchdog sees no purpose in wasting time on an irrelevant 'paper'.

No... not even to check out Toronto Sun comment boards.  I already feel much more enlightened.

Jethro Bodine, who is one of my idols, wouldn't waste his time with that rag.  Don't forget, he's the one with the "sixth grade education".

By the way, how is Sun News Network doing these days?

Sunday, November 6, 2011


A friend got me reading the 'comment' boards on the Toronto Sun website (  Although I will not exaggerate and claim I am always checking them out, they are interesting as some sort of sociological experiment. Or lab.

Do you want to see endless examples of bad grammar and atrocious spelling in one convenient place?  (That's not even counting the amount of "hate" you can see in one location.)

I'm the first to admit that my own scribblings on this blog are sometimes imperfect.  (When I sometimes look back at old postings, I roll my eyes and, for a few minutes, say, "I'm not cut out for this writing stuff".)  But, I produce technical errors once in a while.  Not every other sentence.

My favourite specimen? Even though there is a lot of competition, I managed to pick one. I should prefact by saying the story in particular was about our education system here in Ontario, Canada. Are you ready? Okay...


(I cannot resist... I will follow up to this in a few days.  The serious problem within the above quote, posted to Toronto Sun comment boards, is very common -- every day, in fact.  In just one fairly brief visit to today's on-line paper, I saw a few examples.  By the way, what did angry right-wingers do before newspaper comment boards came along?)

Saturday, November 5, 2011


When speaking with a friend recently he said that he had just watched Star Trek on television.  When I asked him which episode it was, he answered with a happy "The Savage Curtain".  He then went on to say that he almost "pissed" himself when Yarnek (the rock creature from the planet Excalbia) said something about 'Zora experimenting with people's chemistry'.  While I did score some laughs from my friend when I tried to quote the line, I decided that one day I would look up the exact wording.  Well, ladies, gentlemen, Trekkies & Trekkers, here is Yarnek's commentary (as the camera shows each of the four villains that Captain Kirk, Mr. Spock, Surak, and Abraham Lincoln [!] will have to combat)...

"... some of these you may know through history...

"Genghis Khan, for one...

"And Colonel Green; who led a genocidal war early in the 21st century on Earth...

"Zora; who experimented with the body chemistry of subject tribes on Tiburon...

"Kahless the Unforgettable; the Klingon who set the pattern for his planet's tyrannies..."


"The Savage Curtain" is a lot of fun.  Yes, it's from Trek's infamous third-season, but "Savage" is still underrated, as far as I'm concerned.  And Phillip Pine is awesome as "Colonel Green".

Great pulp cheese.  But with a strong theme.

Thursday, November 3, 2011


We know what's happened -- or rather, not -- since this original posting...

As a former teacher of mine used to say, "a big, fat, nothing".  Check the Toronto Maple Leafs' record from the last couple of seasons, if you are curious.  They would be 2009/2010, and 2010/2011.  Hint: They did not even make the playoffs; and have not for a few years now.

Even I'm not laughing anymore.

One of the few equally sad stories (to this sports 'dabbler') is when Buffalo Bills coach Marv Levy took his team to four consecutive Super Bowl games only to lose on every occasion.  I was actually cheering for him.  (Let us not forget the non-sports case of Susan Lucci.  After many, many Emmy nominations, she finally won the big prize in 1999.  Hey, there's a joke in there: What's the difference between Susan Lucci and the Toronto Maple Leafs?... After many seasons of losing, she finally won the trophy.)